I still hurt unbelievably bad. I still don't know how I'm going to make it through this. I still break apart at the smallest things. I still can't find peace in prayer. But I am finding comfort in small things. Today I made it to my sister's blog for the first time since Levi's death and I found this.
Amy - You provided Levi with 9 perfect months. He knew nothing but love, warmth, and comfort from you. He knew your voice. He knew your habits. You constantly rocked him as you moved. You are a wonderful mommy.
Words from my sweet, baby sister. Thank you, Megan. You've touched my heart today.
I'm bombarded with emails, comments, cards, flowers, phone calls, etc. from friends, family, and even perfect strangers. And I thank you. Thank you for caring and loving on me in this time of great need. Your words and prayers do bring pieces of comfort to me, and I reread them constantly. Usually with tears falling down my cheeks. I ask you to keep them coming.
3 comments:
amy, lean on and draw from all the people who are praying for you. you will experience a roller-coaster of emotions for a while. some highs and some very lows - but you WILL get stronger in time. just give it time. your emotional wounds are as raw as your incision. you might not even be able to pray at first - but God WILL take care of you through the prayers of your family and others. with new technology we are now able to know the gender early, give the baby a name before birth and bond/connect with that baby. levi was ALIVE in you. one thing my daughter did was make a list of all the things sydney did WITH her before her stillbirth. holidays, outings "meeting" family members...sounds weird but you know what...weirdness is OK at this time!!! c.s. lewis book on grief: "lewis had the courage to yell, to doubt and to kick at god with angry violence. this is a part of healthy grief that is not often encouraged." there will be so many times/incidents/events (even just going to target) that i wish i was there to hold your hand. i hope you have friends and family close who can do this with you. praying for little miracles to bring bright spots to your sad days. much love, jan margrave
I wish you love, peace and hope. I know you don't know me, I just stumbled across your blog and now too have tears rolling down my face. I'm so sorry for your loss. Hopefully one day you will find peace and the pain will ease, even if just by a fraction. Love and prayers from Houston TX
You don't even have to ask...
Love you and praying for you still...
Undrea
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