Reunited

Walking With You was created to offer comfort, encouragement, and hope to grieving families who have lost a child. This week, we are sharing what it will be like the day we are reunited with our precious babies in heaven.

Life has been difficult these past 4 months, but the one thing I hold on to that gets me through this tragic time is the promise that I will again be reunited with my Levi for eternity in heaven. I so look forward to the day that I truly get to meet my son for the first time. I knew him while he grew within me, but he was gone by the time I saw his face. I held the shell of what he had once been in my arms, but I never met his soul.

My image of him constantly changes. Some days I envision him as the baby I saw, swaddled in the arms of my grandmother or my uncle. I like to believe that my family who has gone before me loves on him as I would have. Especially my uncle. It's comforting to me to think that the two of them spend time together-the two members of our family that left too soon. I know my grandmother relishes in loving on her great grandson, and I hope he's being spoiled rotten by her. I am envious of these family members as I long to hold this baby in my arms.

Other days I see him as a little boy, a toddler, playing in the grass. He looks a lot like Aidan in my mind. Probably because his picture reminds me so much of Aidan's baby picture. He has dark brown hair and bright blue eyes. The distinctive characteristic that sets him apart from Aidan is the brow crease he inherited from my dad-his Papa. His smile is contagious and his laughter delights the ears that hear it. I crave watching this little boy play. I want to run in the grass beside him and spend carefree hours with him.

These thoughts bring tears to my eyes. I can't wait to hear my Levi say, "Mama," as he runs into my arms. I can't wait to wrap my arms around his sweet body and hold him tight, never letting him go again. I could never let go twice.

I have put my trust in God to care for my precious boy, and it is in that trust that I survive. I know Levi will be there to greet me the day I arrive at Heaven's gates. It is that day that I will hold in my heart for the remainder of my life here on earth. Heaven means so much more to me now. I've always looked forward to it, but in a way that I can wait until my life here on earth is over. Now I know suffering and pain and grief. Now I long for a life filled with joy and happiness. It has become my determination to live a life glorifing Christ in such a way that the children that do remain on earth with me want the same life and accept Christ as their Savior in order for my entire family to live together for eternity. I want my children to know each and every one of their siblings. I want my children to know God. I want the pain of losing a child too soon to be gone forever.