Seeking Comfort

"Be merciful to me, O Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief. My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction and my bones grow weak." Psalm 31:9-10

Even in his distress, David still reflects on the Lord's faithfulness.

"But I trust in you, O Lord; I say you are my God." Psalm 31:14
"Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord." Psalm 31:24

I desire to have a heart like David's. To recognize God's goodness while in the midst of affliction. It's so hard for me though. I miss Levi so much. My counselor has encouraged me to find things to be thankful for because of Levi, so here goes:

1. I'm thankful for everyone who supported my family by coming to Levi's funeral. The room was packed. I had no idea that many people would show up, let alone, that many people had already heard. I mean, it had only been 4 days since he was born still.

2. I'm thankful for God's mercy in bringing friends to my doorstep. I have been so loved through this tradegy. God has used others to show me how much He loves me.

3. I'm thankful for the meals that were brought to me. It gave me 6 weeks to not think about a few domestic affairs.

4. I'm thankful for the people who have reached out to me who have already lost children of their own. This is such a lonely path, that it really was an answered prayer to have other women like me seek me out and offer a listening ear.

5. I'm thankful for new friendships that have formed. In the past 3 months, I have gained some incredible new friendships of people who are not afraid to hear the truth from me.

6. I'm thankful that many of my previous friendships have grown even stronger.

7. I'm thankful that Josh and I are walking this road together. He is my best friend, and as much as I hate our situation in life, I wouldn't want to be here with anyone else.

8. I'm thankful for Aidan. He gets me up in the mornings, he makes me laugh, he needs me to be mommy, he loves me unconditionally, and I love him so much more now that I know how precious life truly is.