Levi's Quilt

I love Levi's quilt. It's been a piece of comfort for me. Something to hold when my arms feel so desperately empty. Grammy put a lot of love into making this quilt for sweet Levi. I'm saddened that it will never be used to provide warmth for Levi. He'll never tote it around or play peek-a-boo under it. It saddens me, but I didn't want to fold it up and store it in a chest or closet. It's the only item that belonged to just Levi. It needs to be seen. Therefore, I displayed it prominently next to his picture in our living room. Next to the face of my beautiful little boy who now lives with Jesus.

I've had a couple people tell me they don't understand how I can stand to have Levi's picture on my wall; that if it were them, they don't think they could even look at the pictures. Hiding his picture was never an option for me. Levi is my son and I won't pretend he didn't exist. You wouldn't question my choice to display Aidan's picture. I won't ignore the fact that I have a second son even though he died. When I'm asked those questions, it comes across to me like others want to ignore his existence. Maybe that's not how it's meant, and I understand that everyone grieves differently, but the bottom line is, until this happens to you, until you lose your child that you planned for and prayed for and loved with all of your heart, you don't know how you will respond and you don't know what you will do or feel or say. I beg of you, don't judge me for how I choose to remember my child. It's important to me that he is known. I'm touched by others who choose to display his picture in their homes. It lets me know that he won't ever be forgotten.

When you walk into my home, you will see Levi's face, and please talk to me about him. Even if I cry, I want to talk about my son. Don't feel bad for making my cry. I cry a lot these days. Tears pour easily from my eyes. I cry because I miss my child, not because of what you said. Tell me how peaceful Levi appears in his picture. Look at his quilt. Praise the work my mom did. Remember my child.