My counselor did give me the option of continuing, but pretty much told me I'd made enough improvements in the past 5 months that she didn't feel I needed to come anymore. I feel ok with this. Her professional opinion matters a lot to me. I can look back on my very first visit with her and see that I have made improvements. On that very first visit, I was told I was depressed and I remember crying through the whole thing. I don't cry through the sessions anymore - just the parts when I remember those first days after losing Levi. I can even laugh some with her.
She did leave me with reminders of focusing on the positive things in my life and not believing the lies that Satan puts in my head. Lies such as, "I should have known something was wrong," "I could have kept him from dying if only I'd scheduled the c-section one day earlier," "If I wasn't diabetic, he wouldn't have died." I didn't have control over those areas, so there's no sense in blaming myself.
I still wish he was here. I'll always be sad about his death. But I'm glad to be told that I'm doing better. I'm glad that others can see that in me because sometimes I wonder if I really am.
2 comments:
I read your flu post and have been thinking about you guys so when I first saw the title I wondered if I'd missed something (ie- Aidan or your hubby had been discharged from the hospital or something). I'm glad things are going well emotionally though :). It's a long road and there may still be rough days but it does help to see progress. It always made me feel like I could keep going (though there were times I paused to catch my breath again).
Hey! love the new layout! how did you do that? photoshop right? love it!!!!! hope everyone is on the mend by you? I think I got hit with the flu yesterday. Not throwing up but high fever, achy all over and coughing. AAAAHHHHH!!!! it's hard being a mom and sick ya know??? great to hear about no more counseling sessions. are you going to miss them??? feel free to email me if you need to! I might be miles away but an email only takes seconds! :)
I am sure I needed counseling but didn't feel like crying all the time. It would have been with our pastor and his wife and they know me way too well! :)I acted like I was fine so they didn't ask me to get together.
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