16 weeks

I have now made it to the 16 week mark as of today. I've never been one to take regular baby bump photos, but after Levi's passing, I've realized that these small milestones of my child's growth are something I want to remember and cherish forever. I don't have many pictures of myself while pregnant with Levi, and I now wish I had more since my pregnancy was the only time I had to be with him.

The first picture I took with Levi was at 25 weeks. I hadn't taken one prior because I never felt like I really looked pregnant until then. This time around, I'm finding it's a bit different. I've already had someone look at me and ask, "When are you due?" I guess by the 3rd pregnancy I've worn all my tummy muscles out.

Fear and uncertainty is beginning to creep in, and I'm having to really rely on the Lord for peace. My mind can take me places I don't want to be if I'm not careful. Prayer is getting me through a lot. So are distractions. I've begun the massive project of converting our computer/craft room into the baby nursery. This room has basically been the catch-all room for the past 4 years, so this is no small feat to take on. I finally managed to clear out the entire walk-in closet this week. I was incredibly proud of that accomplishment. It also required organizing other areas of my home. The computer has been moved out. Next is to tackle my sewing desk. That's a nightmare that will have to wait a few more months though. My mom is going to make the majority of the baby bedding, but I'm making the crib sheets. I've already picked out all the fabric I want, but the store I'm buying the fabric from has a once a year sale every July, so I'm going to wait until then, therefore, my sewing machine can't get packed up quite yet.

I debated not doing anything with the room until after I knew for sure baby would come home in my arms. I don't want to have to tear down another nursery. However, putting the room together gives me hope, and frankly, I can use all the hope I can get.

Aidan asks about the baby a lot. At one point, he tried to reach down into my belly button to get the baby out. I told him the baby won't come until around Halloween time. He seems satisfied with that answer. He likes to come into the middle bedroom with me while I'm working. Last night, he started asking me where the baby is going to sleep because his bed is broken. The crib is in pieces leaning against the wall, so I explained that daddy would fix the baby bed before the baby came to our house. He also tells everyone that he's having a baby girl named Abbey. We're going to have to work on that one over the next few months. :)