A picture of something you're afraid of.
I don't have a picture to represent this, but one of my biggest fears is something happening to my family and being left alone in the aftermath.
I cringe every time Aidan gets in the car with someone other than me, and say a silent prayer for his safety and careful driving of the person in charge. I know I can't keep him with me forever, but I sure wish I could.
I've had nightmares about Josh dying a tragic death that have me left breathless when I wake up. Lately, we've been updating our life insurance policies and talking about what I should do about the house, cars, kids, a job, who I should get help from, etc. if something were to happen to him. While I know these are necessary items to discuss beforehand, it does not help my fear.
This is not a new fear I've developed since Levi's death as most would probably assume. Levi's death has made the fear stronger because I never want to live through that again, but even as a kid, I would have nightmares about my parents' deaths. They would die in a car crash or a house fire, and I would wake up sobbing not knowing what I should do if it really happened.
It's a fear I've learned to control through prayer. I know the only thing I can do is pray for God's protection over my family members and trust that they are in His hands.
No comments:
Post a Comment