34 weeks

I hit the 34 week mark yesterday. This is a particularly tough week for me. It was at 34 weeks during my last pregnancy that I was first informed, and yet didn't believe it would actually happen, that I had an increased risk of a stillborn baby due to excess amniotic fluid and the fact that Levi was already measuring 8 pounds. I'm fearful and nervous about this week's doctor appointment, but at the same time, I'm doing my best to trust in God's goodness and in the knowledge of my doctors. I have been continually monitored via ultrasound and Non-Stress Tests weekly for the past 6 weeks now, something that was not done with Levi, with no indication of anything being wrong. My OB says the chances of the baby's measurements suddenly growing to a dangerous area at this point are very slim, but still, I worry about it because no one could ever give me a for sure answer as to why Levi grew so quickly or what caused his heart to stop beating. I do know, however, that if anything is off, my doctor isn't going to take any chances this time around and will immediately admit me to the hospital.

I also know that the baby and I have both been covered in prayer throughout this pregnancy, and while I still struggle with prayer myself - it's hard not to after the tragic loss of your child, I still fully believe in the power of it and hold tight to the promise of an answered prayer. I must believe that this baby will make it to my arms alive and breathing.