It's Been Awhile

A lot has happened since the last time I've really written here. In February, we received our 3rd foster care placement. She's still with us, officially making her stay in our home the longest of them all. We've been told she'll most likely be with us for awhile, too. We're perfectly ok with that. She's currently 9 months old and is the happiest baby ever. We love her, the boys love her, we'd like to keep her forever. It's all in God's hands though and all we can do is pray that whatever is best for her is what is done.

We made it through Levi's birthday once again. Not an easy day, I will admit. It never is though. One would think it would get easier the more time passes, and in some ways it does, but in others, it's a reminder of how long it has been since I last carried him in my womb and held his precious body in my arms. This year was also harder because Aidan started asking more questions. He asked me why he died, and I don't really have an answer to that question. I simply had to tell him that we don't know exactly why he died, but that he died while he was still in my tummy and went straight to heaven. Then he wanted to know if I was waiting and waiting for Levi to come out and if he never did because he was in heaven. That took some time and explanation. It's not easy to explain to a child how I had to give birth to a dead baby and while I held his body, his spirit was gone. Then Aidan wanted to know what happened to his body, so we had to explain funerals and burials and decomposition (my child is very intellectual and loves science, so while most would shy away from this fact, Aidan found it intriguing). He wanted to know what our new bodies in heaven look like and how old we will be and what heaven looks like. Finally, he asked when he could go to heaven to see it all. I ran out and bought Heaven is for Real for Kids which helped give Aidan more of a visual understanding of what heaven might be like.

Josh took the day off work, and after Aidan got home from school we took flowers and balloons out to the cemetery. We all wrote notes to Levi, tied them to the balloons, and floated them up to heaven. Our very dear friends, Chris and Monica, invited us over for dinner so we wouldn't spend the evening alone. When we got home, I decorated a cake I had made earlier in the day, and we blew out a candle for Levi.

 

 

On Easter Sunday, Aidan accepted Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Savior. It was such a sweet, sweet day that I will never forget. This evening, he made his second step in his faith journey by following Christ's example in baptism. Josh had the privilege to baptize Aidan himself. I am extremely proud of the young man my son is becoming, and pray he continues to follow the Lord's guidance throughout his life.